Recently I discovered a word that I really like. It is not real word; well not in the sense that it has been universally accepted and put into a dictionary somewhere or recognised as a functional antonym.
-the suspicion the Universe is collaborating on your behalf.
I like to think thats the way I feel most of the time. I have plently of anecdotal evidence that proves beyond conincidece that pronoia is real. It is actually happening.
Sometimes I also feel like the universe is working against me. Do you ever feel that? It conspires with malicious intent to put blocks in your way. Subtle, insidious. Like it's watching your progress. Laughing at how you react to the next obsticle; it's single focus to quash your dreams and hopes.
Hmm. That antonyn I was talking about - Paranoia.
Nah. You're right. I'm not buying it either. Maybe I'm just not on the right drugs. I'll stick with Pronoia. The universe may well be making it hard for me, but I'm still at optimist at heart. I always try and switch it around and look to intellectual anaylsis. There is always a reason. What does it want from me?
Then I have an epiphany - Habits. Namely good habits. I believe they are to be approached like learning a new skill.
So this is what I have been thinking about since the last time you bothered to listen to my rantings. The thing I realized about good habits is that it takes conscious thought and self control; you really need to think about them before you get the result and always it seems that good habits take time. But just like learning any new skill they eventually become a subconscious action; like a muscle getting memory of a particular movement and finally getting used to it. You dont have to think about it any more, it just sort of happens.
Bad habits are easy to fall into to because they revolve around instant gratification and satiating desires of the flesh. Think about it for a few moments.
Inaction is also a bad habit because your body will always opt out for relaxation. Doing stuff is too hard. Lets just sit here and do something passive. Nothing sounds good.
Bad habits come easily because they require no thought. Like falling, you just step off and let gravity do the rest for you.
However, to break bad habits you have to really think about it.
To create good habits you have to focus your will. You have to build them upon reinforced foundations. Making them sturdy enough so you cannot fall again. Good habits let you reach heights that let you see that its much better up here than down there.
But it's subjective. No one can really for you to do it. You have to come the great realisation yourself.
Bad habits are an enemy, but like winning any war, victory is based upon a success in the smaller battles. Take on one at a time. Defeat it, and move on. Clear the path for your good habits. Allow them to become focused obsession. Powerful. Unyielding. To become better than you were. No excuses. If it's going to be, then it's up to me.
I want to write for a living dammit. Not copy writing for small businesses or blogging and hoping for advertisement dollars - I want to create worlds, characters and stories. I want people to immerse themselves in my novels. To escape, enjoy and enchant. I am determined.
Three a.m starts, in fact 02:45 am is my alarm. It gives me time to have a shower and throw down two espresso coffees ready for keyboard time. Children are asleep. Peace.
Oh no. The internet! Talk about a bad habit. It's a freaking mind trap. It's been likened to a slot machine. You search for something or haunt particular websites hoping for new information. You don't know what the information will be so that keeps your interest. Like a surprise. Oh, what fun!
You press the button, your brain gets a stimulus... ahhh feels good, but it's useless for you to the point of being bad.
Gotta smash that one into dust.
On goes the internet blocker. I had to find a good one. Hell I use two, just to make sure. I'm one of those computer people that know enough to be dangerous and I can work around some of the more simpler ones. Some just insult my intelligence. One I found forces you to restart your computer to get internet access again.
Oh, what a hassle. Moving my mouse to click on this reset button is killing me. The computer is going to take a good thirty seconds to reboot. What an incredible productivity tool! I'll have to tell all my writing friends about this one. I'll even put up a testimonial. Ten dollars is a cheap price to pay for such freedom.
Nope, no me. Until I break the habit its forced cut off. No work arounds. Zip, zero. Cold turkey (actually the name of the software.) with a touch of temptation blocker.
Sure I need to research. But I set aside time to do that. Thats called detail, worry about that at say edit two or three.
So it begins with 3 a.m starts. And writing. Novel, blog, journal. Write. In twenty one days, it will seem that I have been doing it for a lifetime. It will seem easy. A massive hurdle to overcome. I will do this.
Then all that is left is be good at it. But I'll need to take the plunge and let you decide that one.
You're the reader. That's your habit.